If you’ve always been a perfectionist in everything that you did, you’re probably considering your relationship too to be as perfect as every other task you do. One of the best things that you can do to make your relationship click for several years is to think of it as ‘real’ and not strive to make it ‘perfect’. You have to acknowledge that you’re living with another human being who has his own set of eccentricities, defects and idiosyncrasies, just as you have them too. While there will be abundance of good memories, there will also be bad memories of misunderstandings, feelings of being hurt and fights. Instead of trying to avoid them, it’s better to accept and understand the triggers that might lead to fights.
We had interviewed few therapists and relationship counselors and asked them about the bleak facts on marriage that a couple should remain aware of. Let’s take a look at what they said.
Truth #1: There are times when sex will become just a ‘work’
When we say ‘work’ we mean that sex will require effort to breed passion. Due to the hectic, busy and monotonous schedules that couples have these days, spontaneity is something that is done away with and hence sex becomes scheduled, predictable and much less passionate and romantic as it used to be. Most couples have to give in their best efforts to make sex interesting, they have to work on remaining loyal to each other and keep focusing on their ever-increasing medical issues that keep coming in between their ability and desire. While one person may not be in the mood to have sex, insecurities about the body are also inevitable.
Truth #2: Coming to terms with the fact that some problems can’t be solved
All arguments that you have with your partner won’t end in a proper manner. Once you’re in a nuptial relationship, you will definitely have lots of big and small arguments. You have to come to terms with the fact that there aren’t solutions to all your problems and hence there will be few arguments that won’t be solved and its okay! In case you find your problems occuring over and over again, speak to a licensed therapist.
Truth #3: There will be a time when you will hate your partner
You can’t deny the fact that it is only the people whom you love the most who can also be hated the most. You won’t ever hear of a couple who brag that they don’t fight. If both parties are voicing their concerns, there will be inevitable fights. It is in fact natural to have conflicts but how you handle the conflict will determine whether it can make or break your relation.
Truth #4: You and your spouse are different
Once you’re done with the golden hue of marriage when you were literally blind due to the romance, you’ll realize that you and your spouse are different. Learn to respect these differences, no matter how challenging it can be as this is the success to a relationship.
We hope that you will now spend a happy married life as you’re well aware of the gloomy truths associated with marriage. Keep evaluating your relationship with time and adjust yourself with the changes.