Marriage changes in several ways after you have children. Learning how things could change and how to handle them will benefit you and your partner. Your marriage doesn’t have to suffer. You just need to understand that things won’t be the same as they were before you have kids, but that’s okay because life can be just as good as it used to be.
Lack of Sleep
Your marriage will suffer a bit from the lack of sleep. If someone tells you they get plenty of sleep and they have kids, they are flat out lying. Forget the books that boast about sleep training and all of that nonsense. You will spend the years raising your children exhausted and because of this, your marriage will take a backseat. When you’re sleep deprived, you can get cranky and it can take a toll on you physically as well. Finding ways to effectively manage your feelings while exhausted will benefit you, your partner, and your kids.
All About Budgets
Your marriage will revolve around budgets. Children are expensive! Diapers and formula are some of the biggest expenses in the first year of a child’s life. Add to the fact they grow like weeds and will be flying through clothes and you’re looking at dropping quite a bit of money. Everything will revolve around budgets, but it’s important to discuss financial matters with your partner so they’re not left in the dark. You can also expect your food budget to increase each year after your child starts eating table food.
Where you used to be number one, you can expect to fall back a few places and be the least important person in the family. That doesn’t mean your spouse loves you any less, but you two are now tasked with the responsibility of keeping another human being alive and meeting their needs. When out of state family calls, you can expect them to ask about the kids before ever asking about you and that’s okay. Your children should take priority over all else, including yourself. As they get older, things will balance out more.
It Will Be Boring
Kids make life exciting, but your marriage will become boring. No more late nights or going out with friends. Boring isn’t necessarily bad; you just need to find ways to spend time together even if it’s just a few minutes on the couch while watching a movie.
Little Things Mean the Most
The little things that didn’t seem to matter much before will become everything after you have kids. Getting your partner a cup of coffee after a long night with the baby will mean so much more now that she is sleep deprived. Small gestures for your partner will mean so much to them!
Kids change things, there’s no doubt. Your marriage and life will never be the same. Your marriage will change in many ways, but these were just a few. You will become the least important person, but that’s okay since kids take priority. Your marriage will become all about budgeting and the little things you can do for each other. It may get boring, but with time and effort, things will improve.